I had a dream that I beat Don Johnson up. I was Tom Magnum in the dream. I beat him up real good, too. All punching his head and stuff. Then he looks up at me and pleads not to hit him again, so I kind of get up and walk away. Then there's a razor at my throat and he cuts my moustache off! Like Samson, I am drained of my power and that bastard Johnson takes off with the rest of my moustache.
I don't know what it means.

I kinda want a yacht. I was looking at grills the other day. I don't actually know what any of the terminology is and the clerk was going on and on about butane or something. I just nodded and smiled because I didn't want the salesperson to think I was stupid. I just wanted something to grill steaks on, anyway. I told them I'd think about it, then I went and bought some untreated cedar planks. They are great for marinating meat on because the meat absorbs the flavour of the wood.
I've been eating a lot of steak, come to think of it.
This is the life of a bachelor, I guess!

So, being that I have a lot of spare time since Magnum PI, I decided I wanted to write a movie. I once wrote an episode of Magnum PI! It was the best episode ever, I can honestly tell you.
Anyhow, I think the movie should be about detectives. Or pirates. Or something equally awesome. Like me. Maybe I will call Ted Danson up to be in it. I like Ted but we sure don't know how to take care of babies! As for Steve Guttenberg... dude's a douche. Seriously.

Anyhow, the steaks have been marinating on the planks, so I'm going to go grill them up and maybe look up grills on the internet.